A Decade

So, I've noticed some other people post about their lives over the last decade for their new year blurb.  And I decided I wanted to post one even though I'm very-much fahionably late...

2000 (6th/7th Grade)

At this point in life, I think Jared's a four-eyed geek.  And of course, I'm the psycho new girl as everyone from Majestic Elementary saw me (even this far into the school year).  Can you believe I have known Jared since 1999?  Weird.  During recess, I would lay in the snow (don't ask me why).  The recess lady was convinced that I was sick or something and would constantly send me to the sick room.

And then 7th grade came, West Jordan Middle School.  Jared gave me a black eye while playing soccer.  I believe after reading class, we would race up the stairs to our next class, and he happened to trip me which caused me to flip up the stairs.  Yeah, we were brutal.  Oh, and Jared made fun of me when someone punched me in the eye at the Halloween dance.  Below is my 6th grade picture...

2001 (7th/8th Grade)

I cut my hair this year.  I really don't remember much from middle school.  I turned 13.  I believe this is the year I began smoking pot, but who knows.  I bury my past sometimes.  One thing I can say is West Jordan Middle School was a horrible school.  I was molested in the hallways almost every single day.  I think the worst was when a boy shoved his hand down my pants (the back side), but I do believe I threw my fist into his crotch.

I know by this time, I became friends with a girl.  She and I would play the piano every morning before class. I had a Fur Elise duet that we would play.  We got very good at it.  Oh, and it was at this time that I had a crush on Jared's good friend, Travis.  I would have a crush on him for probably the next 2 years.

2002 (8th/9th Grade)

Not too much excitement these years.  At 14, I began drinking.  And just so everyone knows, I was not and still am not someone who drank every day.  I would hang out with friends and drink maybe once every month or two.  Around this time, I was put on anti-depressants and saw psychologists.  I had a hard time with my body image.  A guy would call me "Finger Lady" every time he saw me; funny how this guy was one of Jared's good friends (more later maybe).  I began hating myself so much.  I believed the teasing.  I believed my hands made me handicapped.  I began cutting and ripping at my hands and arms.  Even throughout all of this, I managed to stay on the Honor Society in school.  I was also an active member in MESA and the Jordan Youth Symphony.  I became the 9th grade representative also.  I was a member of the orchestra; I played the viola and violin.

2003 (9th/10th Grade)

The last part of middle school...  I was elected to play in the Honors Orchestra where select few from the district play music.  My music teacher gave me the highest violin position assignment she had.  Out of the district, I was 3rd chair 1st violins.  Now, that is an amazing accomplishment.  But me being me back then, it never stopped me from hating myself.  Also, my math teacher elected me as the Most Outstanding MESA student.  This accomplishment sent me on an all-expenses-paid trip to Boise State University for an engineering camp.  My first introductions to engineering...

Transitioning to high school...  Ugh.  I hate thinking about West Jordan High School.  It was a horrible school with a lot of horrible people in it.  I had to keep one of my friends from beating someone up after he called me something because of my hands.  If I had stayed at West Jordan, I don't think I would have graduated or worse, not survived.  And yes, I can call myself a huge drama queen back then because I was full of emotions I couldn't handle.  A lot of pain and hate.  Oh, and I happened to have my friend pierce my belly button.  Let me tell you, very painful and very much not recommended.  I have a nice scar from it because the hole would never heal right.

Enough with the bad and onto the good...  I was 2nd chair 2nd violins in the Jordan Symphony Orchestra (another district orchestra).  That's really good considering they never put 10th graders in the 1st violins section.  Oh, and I do believe I asked Jared to the Sadie's dance.  Our first date.  Truly, it wouldn't have happened if Travis hadn't already been asked...  A picture of me from 9th grade spring time and our Sadie's date.

2004 (10th/11th Grade)

This year, I played lacrosse.  Lots of fun.  However, I couldn't continue it after going to Itineris.

I spent the whole summer in Georgia with my step-mom and dad.  I believe this summer is a time where I bonded a lot with my step-mom. It was also this year that I decided I wanted nothing to do with Utah.  I planned on moving out of the state as soon as I could.  Should probably mention more of my mindset at this point in my life:  I was not going to have kids ever, and I did not need some guy to make me happy.  When I came back, Jared and I began dating more regularly.

11th grade came.  Itineris was honestly the best thing that could ever happen to me.  Going to high school on a college campus earning your high school degree along with your associate's degree.  Best thing ever.  I met some of the best friends I could ever have.  Oh, Jared and I also became official on September 2 of this year. I also began working at Target.  Oh, and about that friend of Jared's...  We ended up seeing him at a football game, and he couldn't say any of his usual remarks to me.  I think it was one of the most civilized conversations I ever had with him even though it only consisted of hello's.

And I know this part is very much horrible, but it's still what occurred during these years.  I began smoking irregularly and the pot and drinking still continued.  Pictures below (this is one of the years I wouldn't let people take pictures of me).

2005 (11th/12th Grade)

Let's see.  This would be one of the hardest years of my life.  Due to religious politics, I was requested to break up with Jared.  Of which, I did at the beginning of the year; however, I never stopped thinking of him.  And all of this ended up causing way too much drama.  I hit a very big low in life.  I was showing up to school every single day high.  This is also the time that I decided to try meth.  And then something happened.  Horrible yes.  But it woke me up.  And I wanted nothing to do with that part of my life anymore.  But without the drugs, I was back to feeling.  My cuts were worse and worse.  I dug into my hand with only my nail because I wanted to get rid of my hands.  Even though it was only my nail digging, it was the deepest cut I would ever give myself.

I saw a counselor who basically told me to grow up and get a life.  He pointed out how I would sit on my hands all of the time.  I guess I did that without ever realizing.  He also told me that people are only curious.  Not everyone thought I was ugly because of my hands (in fact, only a select few idiots felt that way).

So, I decided I was getting out of this black hole.  It was never easy.  But Jared was there for me.  But since we're still in high school, you have to add the high school drama.  I received a death threat from someone at West Jordan.  But like I cared.

Even though I was leaving my dark past.  The consequences of every action comes back.  My mom just happened to be a few months behind on the times of my life.  While I was getting out of the drugs, she thought I was in them and much more than that.  Let's just say crazy teenager plus pregnant-and-freaking-out mom is not a good reaction.  She kicked me out of the house and later reported me as a runaway.  This sent me to child services, and since they wanted all amends to occur in 24 hours (which wasn't going to happen), I was sent to live with my Dad.  Now, didn't I say Itineris was the best thing ever?  And going from a college education to an education that is ranked 50 out of 51 in the nation?  Bad...

But living with my dad during my senior year in high school was good.  It helped me get away from the bad parts of West Jordan.  My dad and I also got a second chance to reconnect.  Our relationship had a lot of healing to do.  He showed me pictures I drew for him as a toddler and letters from when I was in school asking why he wouldn't come home to me and if he really loved me.  I also got to play softball with my church league.  As much as school was the dullest part of my life ever, the outside of school life was probably one of the best I could ever ask for.  I reconnected with my family and with God.

And Jared and I worked on a long-distance relationship.  He still managed to send me roses...

2006 (12th Grade/Freshman College)

I came back to Itineris to finish my high school diploma.  Itineris was good for me, but it was not good to my gpa.  However, I like bragging about how my gpa in college is higher than my gpa in high school.  My mom and I worked on our issues.  I worked full time at McDonald's while going to school.  I was saving up to go to Utah State.  Two days after graduation, Jared and I moved up to Logan.

In Logan, I worked full time at Wal-Mart.  This is a very different atmosphere from Target.  Everyone's pissed off at Wal-Mart and yelling at you.  And then college started.  I had a Presidential Scholarship thanks to my awesome ACT scores.  Also, Jared proposed to me this year.  And after checking our finances, the wedding would be postponed for three years...

This would also be the year that my friend from middle school (who played the piano with me) would commit suicide.  Very tragic.  But it made me think about how much life was worth living for.  After getting over the dramas of high school and teenagerism, there really is an awesome life out there.  And I was going to live it.

2007 (Freshman/Sophomore College)

I was majoring in biological engineering.  And my real engineering classes began this year.    I also worked at Subway this year and then Kohl's.  School was worth the cost of living poor.  I really don't remember much other than work, school, and sleep...

And then October came.  My grandma had been in and out of the hospital since probably August.  We knew her time was coming.  She left this world on the 17th to enjoy the experiences of Heaven and seeing our Maker.  It was a very hard time for me.  I stood still in a world that couldn't stop moving.  I remember trying to tell my teachers that I was having a rough time.  I couldn't say my grandma was dead.  One of my teachers had to deal with me crying in his office.  All he could do was hand me a tissue and wait for the words to come out (it took me a week before I could say it without crying).

2008 (Sophomore/Junior College)

Let me tell you, getting all of the stupid science pre-requisites out of the way was a pain in the neck.  But I finished them.  And I was on my way to my degree.  But still, I'm so busy with my life in college, I don't remember much.  I began working for a professor at the university.  A much better job than fast food or retail.  Also, this year I got a very prestigious scholarship from the university and decided I was going to make full use of it by taking 17 credits my junior fall semester.  Human Physiology, microbiology, and a lot of engineering and hard classes...  I really don't remember much.

2009 (Junior/Senior College)

By this time, I'm thinking, only one more year.  And then I'm done with Logan.  But Jared made a deal with me, he'd marry me before we finished school if I'd continue on with my master's degree.  Without a second thought, I agreed.

The summer came.  We moved into a house.  I had an internship with the university.  My mom gave me Gizmo.  Gizmo was pretty much an untrained two year old dog.  Potty training him was hell.  But we survived.  And then his leg was removed.  Taking him home from the vet on that day was one of the worst days ever.  He was still under the effects of the anesthetic, and I couldn't soothe him at all.  He was in pain and delirious.  He cried out constantly.  But he learned to deal with his non-existent leg.  I think he preferred over the bulky cast.  We signed up for dog training classes.  And what do you know, I have one of the most well-behaved dogs ever.  He's very much attached to me.

And then Jared and I got married.  Honestly, the honeymoon was one of the funnest things I've ever done.  We took a big road trip.  We started in Salt Lake the evening of our marriage day.  And then we went to Craters of the Moon in Idaho.  And trust me, it's out in the middle of nowhere.  Then we stayed in Idaho Falls.  And then we went to Jackson Hole.  Lots of fun.

And school started.  Senior design and biochemical engineering took up a lot of my time.  And since I was a concurrent master's student, I began working on my graduate research in a lab.  Let me tell you, a very stressful and big transition for me...  But it worked out.

2010 (Senior/Graduate College)

And now for the new year...  I am working on paying off my credit card debt before graduating college.  It's nice to actually make money that can be used on daily expenses and then some.  It just stinks that the then some is for the credit cards.  But it was a necessary debt because I needed to pay for groceries somehow the years before.  I am hoping to raise my gpa some more (not that it's bad or anything).  I just look forward to being happy.  Happy with school.  Happy with work.  Happy with Gizmo.  And happy with the best man in my life:  Jared.

And for the years to come....

2011 - Graduate and move out of state where the jobs are.

2012 - Buy a house and finish paying off student loans.

2013 - Who knows?  Baby...