Lovely

We set up our bioreactor yesterday.  We went to inoculate it today.  We started the run and inoculated the reactor.  That was when we realized we forgot to turn the temperature bath on and hook the condenser up to running water.  While attempting to hook up tubes to the water supply and condenser, I noticed the pH wasn't going up to where it was supposed to be.  That's when I noticed that the tube connecting the base to the reactor had a few holes.  That's when I made the connection that base must have gotten onto my gloves and then onto my arm.  No wonder my arm was going red and burning.  So, we had to change the tube with one that didn't have holes.  While trying to pull the tube out, it split open and splashed my face.

So, now it looks like I have half of a black eye, only it's pink instead of black.  My skin is a little swollen.  And it looked like the burns on arm were going to blister.  But they didn't.  I just hope the skin below my eye decides to reduce in swelling sometime soon and not blister...

Weekend Fun

So, I took Gizmo on a walk today.  Lately, I've been walking him everyday, and we've been walking about two to three miles everyday.  Sadly, he doesn't get that tired from it all.  Every time we're going outside, he's begging to go walking again.

Anyways, on the walk, we encountered another dog.  It was a Golden Retriever.  And Gizmo got all huffy and had to act like he was a big shot.  And when he does that, I'll let him do that instead of protect him (however, I won't let him bark or growl, only excitement can overtake him).  And then Gizmo realized the other dog wasn't on a leash.  And then the dog came running at us.  And Gizmo ran and tried to hide behind me.  The other dog only wanted to say hi like almost all other dogs, but Gizmo hates saying hi to big dogs.  So, I grabbed Gizmo and he crawled up my arm like a friggin cat (claws and all).  Without thinking, I told the other dog to sit.  Funny thing is she listened to me.  She sat, and let me pet her.  And then a girl came to get the dog and scold her for running off on her.

That's one thing I like about my dog.  He listens when he wants to run off, and we tell him no.  Sometimes, he wants to say hi to small dogs, but he waits for our approval (which usually doesn't happen since he rarely lets another dog say hi to him).  When he wants to say hi to people, he'll usually get excited at a distance.  And then he'll stay in step with us.  Typically, he doesn't run off to another person until he knows they're talking to him.

So, my weekend was overall enjoyable.  I made piña coladas on friday.  And they were awesome.  Rum is probably my favorite alcohol.  And then we experimented with mixing drinks on saturday.  The drink consisted of a few citrus fruit juices, some orange liqueur mixers, and vodka.  It was surprisingly pretty good.

Now I need to go finish my homework and prepare myself for another monday.  But at least life has been good lately. 

Cute vs. Care

So, my family told me that they're going to steal Gizmo from me because he's so cute.  I just laugh because I know they think he's cute, but they don't have the time and patience to take care of him.

My dog is super-high maintenance.  And it's not really that he's spoiled; it's more that there's a disconnect in communication between me and him.  He suffers from major anxiety when left at home by himself.  And I believe a lot of this stems from his upbringing.  When, he gets anxious, he pees in his kennel (and will sometimes poo).  This behavior stems from the fact that as a puppy, he lived in a box with the other pups and momma.  This box was their bed and toilet.  So, while normal dogs do not associate their toilet with their bed, my dog kind of learned that they're one and the same.  And let me tell you, it took a lot of untraining and retraining to teach Gizmo that the potty is outside and not inside.

So, when I am home, Gizmo is the perfect dog.  But when I leave, he's left in the kennel and falls back on his first instincts he learned as a puppy.  He deals with his loneliness by peeing.  And since I'm still trying to work on fixing this behavior of his, I still have to deal with the mess he leaves.  The mess I come home to probably once a week (it used to be everyday, sometimes twice a day).

So, when people tell me they want my dog, I just laugh.  Sure, he's super cute, but he requires a lot of responsibility.  And if you're not willing to take care of him, then you're not ready to have a dog.

And in my case, I don't think I'm ready to have a kid.  Sure, they're super cute, and I want one.  But I'm not ready to devote my life to someone else who has a million needs that must be met.

And so I will settle for my dog.  Sure, he's a crapster sometimes, but I'm willing to give the time to take care of him.  And most of the time, the rewards are far greater than the time I put into taking care of my dog.

I guess what I'm getting at is I'm not ready for kids.  Gizmo is my kid.  He's my high-maintenance kid.  And as crazy as people may think I am for saying that, I really don't care.  I'm happy calling my dog my kid; the kid I can put in a kennel and leave alone for a few hours, haha.

Bubble

Life sucks right now.

I think I pissed my mom off because she took one of my rants a little too personally.

I said I want to move to Africa today.  I think what I meant by that is I want to be in a community where we all work towards the well-being of the people and not the well-being of one.  But socialism doesn't work.  And the rich getting richer while inflation continues and the poor remain poor, that doesn't work either.  I just want to do away with the corruption.  Why does money bring out the bad in everyone?

The USU Parking Authority has decided to announce that someone got a citation under my account.  They froze my accounts with USU since I've had 60 days to pay it.  Only problem is I didn't find out about until last week.  And apparently it's my fault that I don't know about it since I loan my car out to the wrong people.  So, does that mean the joke's on them if I've never lent my car out to anyone?  And then they tell me that the mystery man who got the ticket tried to pay it the next day but was denied due to illegal use of my permit.  Problem is, no one knows who the mystery man who got the ticket and tried to pay for it is.  My husband's accounted for because he never received a citation to go pay and furthermore, was at work when this mystery man went to pay the citation.

I'm sick of going to school.  And since Utah State really enjoys screwing with me, I have no kind feelings for the institution right now.

I pretty much have no kind feelings for anything Utah right now.  And if you're someone who takes everything literally and a bit too seriously, then I'm happy to piss you off.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people right now think I'm some lazy bum who's trying to lie her way out of a ticket right now.  And the fact that I have done nothing to deserve these judgments just makes me even more pissed off.  But I think I can totally agree with the lazy bum some days, everyone needs to be a lazy bum once in a while.

Overall, today has been a horrible day.  On a brighter note, tomorrow is a new day.  A day that will hopefully have sunshine.  A new day to allow my thoughts to start afresh.  To not be in the hating mood that I am in.  Here's hoping.

I think I just want to get away from it all...

Spring is in the Air

Spring is almost here.  And it feels like it even though it hasn't reached 60 degrees yet.  But it's definitely short-worthy weather, lol...

And with spring comes allergies.  My eyes have already begun to water.  My throat has some itchy days and some not-so-itchy days.  I'll definitely be able to tell everyone when the grass really starts to grow though...

And along comes the baby fever.  Well, actually, I don't think the baby fever ever left me.  I've been so baby-hungry lately.  And seeing everyone (well, almost everyone) around me popping out babies like it's nothing is so not helping...  I really hope Jared finds a job outside of Utah by the end of the year.  Or I hope I find a job somewhere outside of Utah.  Here's to hoping.  I just want to see my future kids.  See what they'll look like.  Will they get the blonde hair genes from me or the brown hair genes from Jared?  Will they be jumbo-huge babies like every single baby in my family or the extra-small babies like every single baby in Jared's family (my bet's with the first one since baby size tends to follow the mom's genes)?  Will they get my stubborn "I-can-and-will-do-it-myself" trait or Jared's "whatever-I'm-not-going-to-argue" trait?

I guess I'll end on a weird, crazy note.  Isn't it weird and kind of funny to think that my future baby will never weigh as little as my dog weighs?  My dog will always be easier to carry...

Gizmo

So, we took Gizmo to Utah State University yesterday.  We played with him out on the quad.  We were running quite a lot trying to wear him out.  And it's just so much fun watching him run.  He definitely doesn't let his missing leg stop him.  He loves playing tag.  And he'll actually let us chase him unlike some dogs who will only chase you.

Anyways, we decided to walk around campus.  That was when Gizmo found his friend in the Eccles Conference Center.  And he just couldn't figure out why his friend kept following him or why he couldn't play with him...

Oh man...  My dog didn't know what to think of the reflective walls.  But Jared and I were definitely amused...  He actually cried because his reflection wouldn't come out and play even though he knew it wanted to.

Failure

I think I am coming to the conclusion that I have just been too busy this year.  And there are quite a few things I forget about or toss aside in order to keep my mental health in order.  And I think it's getting to me, and I'm to the point of admitting it.  I can't lead it all anymore.  I don't even know if I can be a leader in most of the things I'm involved in anyways.

Even though I don't want to admit it and I know my group members contribute different strengths, I have come to the conclusion that I am leading my senior project along.  And if it's not the whole project, then I'm at least leading the lab portion of it.  And it is stressful.  I wish I could just sit back and let some one else take charge.  If only I could just contribute when absolutely necessary instead of being there 24/7 to pick up the slack when no else cannot or will not.  I think I'm just sick of it all.  It's all too stressful.

Dreams are supposed to be my gateway out of my miserable, busy school/work life.  But instead, I'm dreaming about work and the project.  How are we going to take the reactor down?  Will we ever not get contamination in one of our runs?  Is it going to explode anytime soon?  Are we even going to get good results with all of this?  Am I going to look like a fool at the final presentation?

And the fact that I can't go on vacation without freaking out and getting stressed over it all.  It's spring break, and I still have to work.  Work does not believe in days off.  And since my senior project has been on the waiting list, it is being worked on over spring break.  And Jared has told me I am going to Salt Lake with him at the end of the week to get away from it all.  So, I have to push it all to the beginning of the week.

I just want to sit on the sidelines from now on.  I don't want anymore of my responsibilities.  I don't want to be willing to be there to do all of it when others won't.  Just stop.  I can't do it all.  And that's my conclusion.  I really want to throw out some major things in my life out of my life.  I'm done.  White flag.

I hate research.

Corrupt Cops

Seriously, police officers wonder why they have a bad reputation?  Because they hold themselves above the law.  I know there are actual law-abiding citizens that are police officers.  But, it really only takes one bad cop to make the whole system corrupt.  Let's take my drive home tonight as an example.

I'm one light away from my home.  The light changes.  I have the green light.  And then I see the fast-moving vehicle going in the opposite direction take a right-hand turn in front of me without slowing down.  He/she ended up in three lanes over from where he/she should have been if the turn was taken at a proper speed.  And lo and behold, it was a police officer who had technically cut me off.

Now let's say the roles were reversed, and I was the crazy, speed-happy driver.  I'd have been pulled over instantly.  I'd get a ticket for running a red light.  And my blood alcohol would be tested.  But since it was the police officer, and there's nothing I could really do to bring justice to corrupt cops, he/she was able to continue on his/her way going 50 miles an hour on a 30 miles an hour road.  How convenient.

Now we can bring up the what-ifs. Maybe he/she was late for an important date.  Maybe he/she was being called to a police-worthy scene.  Ahem, hello?!  That's what police officer lights are for...  That's what lets other citizens know you're above the law to protect our safety.

Reminds me of the time the police officer got sick of waiting for the light to change.  He turned on his lights and went on his way.  After a few seconds past the intersection, he turned his lights off.  But hey, at least he let me know he was going to be above the law to protect my safety (although I don't know how being impatient protects me).

Birthday Surprise

Yes, I know my birthday was over two weeks ago, but Jared decided to give me my birthday present yesterday.  And oh boy was it a surprise...  Instead of going out and buying it, he asked me if I wanted it for my birthday to make sure I wouldn't freak out over the cost.  This all occurred around 8:30 pm last night.  When I found out what he planned on getting me, I couldn't say no after getting over the cost.  So, after dinner, we went to Wal-Mart and got me my birthday present.  Here is what it is...

Needless to say, I was up until two in the morning playing with it.  I've only added artists A-D.  I got a lot more songs to add to it.  But, oh, I am so excited!!!

And now Jared wants one...

Car Crash

There were a few car crashes in Cedar City today.  Story here.

There's a reason why I hate driving with semi's on the freeway.  After the first semi hit five cars, another car was stopped behind the semi.  And another semi couldn't brake in time.  The car ended up pinned between the semi's.  It killed the driver.  There were 20 vehicles total in this accident.

And then a trooper was trying to respond to the freeway crash.  Another car crashed into the trooper killing the driver and passenger.

Sad day.  My thoughts and prayers go to those involved in those wrecks.  And I thank God everyday for keeping me safe on the roads everyday.  I know I take my safety on the road for granted sometimes.  So, maybe we all need to take a step back and remember to be safe drivers...

Confessions of a Shopaholic

So, Jared and I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic today.  It was an awesome movie.  There were so many true statements said in that movie.  The main character explains why shopping is so addicting.  It makes you happy to try new things on and buy new things.  And then you get home and lose your shopper's high.  So, you have to shop again.  Did you know there are actual hormones that are released while you're shopping and trying new things on?  That's how we get that happy feeling.  Anyways, there was an awesome quote said by the main character's father.  It was something along the lines of, "It's not my things that define me; it's my family that defines me."  That's a lesson that everyone can benefit from.  The movie was an awesome feel-good movie.  Go see it.  It'll keep you laughing.  And I'm sure most guys would enjoy it also.

Trailer Trash

I think I finally understand why the poorest of poor in society are called trailer trash and live in the ghetto.  It's because they're trashy...  I live in subsidized housing; so yes, it's the poorest of poor in society.  And a lot of the families here are single moms (very sad to see).  But I still consider myself living in the ghetto, and I think my newest of neighbors are complete trailer trash.  They all dump trash all over the stairs and outside.  They don't give a shit about the environment.  Some one dropped a glass candle holder on the stairs.  It shattered, and no one has cleaned it up yet.  These mothers don't give a shit about their children's safety, nor do they give a shit about what comes out of their children's mouths (a ten-year-old boy told Jared to "Go F*** Yourself" when he was walking to the car).  Anyways, now that I've associated my apartment complex as the ghetto, let me get to why my neighbors are trailer trash.  They have a sound system that is on 24/7, and it's pretty loud (I can hear the lyrics and usually name the song).  And representatives from the gas company keep stopping by and leaving notices about unpaid bills on the doors.  So, my neighbors can afford a nice sound system that does not belong in an apartment, but they can't pay a friggin gas bill for an apartment?  Obviously, their priorities are skewed.  And they obviously haven't heard of washing their child's mouth out with soap.

Ugh.  This is why I'm getting my degree.  I will not be a trailer trash, single mom.  This is also why I am making sure my marriage is stable before having kids (although this doesn't necessarily equivilate to no divorce because I've seen plenty of people who had kids early and remained together --but I've also seen those who had kids way too soon and didn't stay together).  I don't know.  All I know is I need to take care of myself and my husband before I can deem myself child-bearing ready.  And preferably, I'd like to be in a house before the kids come.

Easy Day

So, I was kind of excited for today because I knew it would be kind of relaxing and boring...  Gizmo went to the veterinarian dentist today.  He had three teeth pulled.  And he's been laying down the whole day trying to get over the anesthetic and his sore mouth.  I feel sorry for him.  He sounds like a gerbil at some moments because he's making so many noises with his mouth.  He just doesn't want to be bothered right now.  On another note, Gizmo is one expensive dog.  I spent way too much at the vet's today.  But at least he's healthy.

So, Jared and I decided to set a goal with our job hunting.  We've decided to apply to at least one company a day.  It's an easy way to keep myself actively looking for a job, and it's not going to overwhelm me.  I hope we're able to find something...  Maybe I'll just look for an internship somewhere.  I don't know.  I think I will start looking into other graduate schools also.  I don't know.  One day, I may know what I want to do in the near future.  Until then, I'll ask God to guide the way and maybe throw me into the right direction (otherwise, I may go the wrong way again).

My Day

So, the career fair was today.  There were absolutely no good swag at the fair.  And as we all know, that's the major reason I go to these things (other than to find a job of course).  I had an interview at the beginning with an irrigation company.  And then they asked to cancel it and do a phone interview.  So...  I don't know where that will go.  In fact, I don't know where I will go....

Is it bad that I hope Jared finds a job somewhere?  That way I can just up and move with him.  And then I have a couple of months to get my act together and figure out what I want to do with myself.  I think I seriously want to do chemical engineering.  That's where I want to be in the workforce.  It's just hard to make recruiters see that I am a very much qualified person.  You're talking-down-to-me just intimidates me a little bit.

Ugh.

Into the Abyss

So, I have officially switched from a concurrent student to a regular, normal student.  I had to switch due to a financial aid technicality, but I think it'll work out for the better.  So, what does all of this mean?  I am graduating in May with my bachelor's degree.  I can go look for a job.  I can go look into graduate programs at other schools.  If Jared happens to get the job he wants, I can up and move away with him.  And if none of that happens, then I can go back to Utah State in the fall and work on my master's degree as was originally planned.

Cool beans.  And decision decided just on time.  The Career Fair at USU is tomorrow.  A few edits to my resume, and I'm off to find a job (maybe).

You are looking at the already-married-soon-to-be graduates...  Jared, a physics major with minors in math and geology.  And me, a biological engineer with a minor in chemistry.  Hah, what geeky freaks we are.  Our children will have no chance at being intellectually dumb in life...