My brother was arrested on friday. He decided he wanted to drink thursday night which is against his probation agreement. He's an alcoholic; he can't drink just one drink. Anyways, he got caught and was ticketed for underage drinking. The next day, his parole officer revoked his parole. And then he was arrested. He's now in Decker Lake, and he's not coming out anytime soon.
And somehow, I feel like blaming myself. Because I saw him on wednesday night and asked him about it all. I can conclude that he was still hanging with the wrong friends. It doesn't make sense to hang out with people who are going to drink when you yourself cannot. Because you're going to end up drinking. Anyways, I asked him if he'd ever be able to drink again, and he told me no. And of course, I blurt out well that sucks. But I did tell him I was proud of him for trying to stay on the straight and narrow path. He was going to graduate high school and was looking to enroll at SLCC.
He called me at 3:30 am when he got caught. I guess my mom told me he was thinking of running again. I feel so bad that I didn't answer my phone. I was in a hotel though and half asleep when my phone rang.
I feel bad. But then I get that small voice that asks, "How do I know he wasn't just telling me what I wanted to hear" like a good manipulator does. I want to believe my brother is trying. But I just don't know.
How can you be that stupid and drink? Why are you still hanging out with people who do drink? Get your head on straight!!! Quit hurting those who love you. We're not going to be there for you that much longer if you keep this up. And it hurts to just give up on you.
On another note, my other brother broke his wrist over the weekend. I feel bad for him and my parents in Georgia. It must be hard not being able to fix your kid's pain. But his arm was put in a cast today. It seems everything's going well considering the situation.
Prayers are appreciated. I just wish I knew whether my hope for my brother is worth it and not a dying hope.
I think hope is always worth it. All things considered, hope is the least we can give people who need help. Besides, if we don't hope, who will? And as long as you have hope, you don't need to beat yourself up for choices that your brother makes. We can only be responsible for those we love to a certain degree. Help when you can, yes, but it's his life.
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