Pictures

So, I never got around to posting pictures from two point five weeks ago.  My friend, Becky, took our pictures. She did a fantastic job.  And one day after graduation, I will get around to printing the pictures for my own benefit.  Some time after graduation.  When I no longer have school stress to worry about.

This is probably my favorite picture.  Other than my looking away, this picture is perfect.  Gizmo is actually looking at the camera and sticking out his tongue.  I love it!

No one can say that Jared and I are not in love.  Granted, our version of affection involves me punching him because he won't hold my hand.  Nevertheless, I believe we are ever so much more in love than when we were younger.  Growing up is hard.  But growing up together?  I don't know.  What am I saying?  I'll never grow up (or I'll always be growing up).

My Gizmo.  My feline dog.  I was thinking about the other day about what would happen if all of a sudden the world became a third world place where there was no food.  And how people would eat their pets to survive or become cannibalistic.  Gizmo would never have to be afraid, there' not enough meat on him anyways...  I get more from a chicken.  My random thoughts at the end of a semester.

Another Gizmo...  Tongue out.  No surprise there.

My family.  I'm so happy where I'm at right now in life.  My husband makes me happy.  My dog is awesome also.

This picture was included with our graduation announcement.  We graduate in a week point two-eight-five (two days if you don't like my decimal system).  A great accomplishment, right?  I think I'll feel accomplished once I get an engineering career and leave Logan.

There were a lot of good pictures.  And I'm so happy to have them.  Go visit Becky's site to find out more.  Alas, I must finish a paper now...  Ugh.

Blegh

I got a letter from our health insurance carrier today.  They're raising our premiums.  And then I realized, we'll be paying 3/4 the amount of what we pay for rent for our insurance premium.  We already pay over half the cost of our rent towards our stupid premiums.  Also, rent takes about 60% of my paycheck away from me.

Did I mention I live in subsidized housing?  Maybe there's a reason for that...

With our upcoming graduation, we will probably be giving up our health insurance.  Because as everyone says, health insurance is a luxury.  And since I can't live in and eat at the hospital, then I guess I have to give up health insurance.

Apparently, having a roof over your head is a luxury.  So is buying food from the grocery store.  So is having a job.  I must just be some lazy ass who can't do anything since I can't find a job (so say the political pigs)...

Job Update

I made an application on Monster and applied for tons of jobs.  I had four different emails the next day.  Also, a recruiter found my resume and sent me an email.  So, I will be talking with more recruiters next week.  I talked to a recruiter at the beginning of this week about a job possibly opening up in the next few months in San Antonio, Texas.  I'm now in the process of talking with a recruiter to get into the interviewing process for a company in Virginia.  It's actually in a city similar to Logan (another small college town) which I think I'd enjoy.  Another recruiter is helping get into the process of applying for a management position in Logan.  I do not want to stay in Logan though.  But the job says it's one that will move within the first two years.  So, as long as I get to move and explore another town, I'm happy.

Things are beginning to look good.  Let's just pray and hope that I make a good impression on these recruiters.

Amniotic Band Syndrome

Some days, I ask why me.  It's like I rose my hand and jumped up and down when God asked who wanted a different challenge on Earth.  A challenge we both knew I could do.  But one always finds that accepting the challenges, as rewarding as they may be in the end, are still difficult to overcome.

If you know me well enough, then you will hear me crack jokes about myself, including my hands.  And some people give me these weird looks, almost like I shouldn't be laughing about something so personal.  But how am I supposed to treat my hands?  As a disability?  They don't disable.  Sure, they slow me down sometimes, but I find my own path to doing things.  And if I can't bring laughter into this world, then what's the point?  My hands are not meant to receive guilt and empathy from anyone.  Sometimes, I just want people to see things from my view even though it may be a ridiculous view.

My mom once showed me a paper she wrote for an English class in college (the baby me came before college).  It was about her first experience with childbirth.  A type of experience that almost no other moms will experience, and I hope they never do.  The baby that I used to be (some 22-odd years ago) was taken away from my mom the minute she came into the world.  The doctors wanted to be sure that my physical disfigurement was only exterior and not interior.  Two hours and a million tests later, I was deemed healthy aside from the hands and feet.  Now two hours may seem like nothing, but for a just-barely mother who has been told nothing about her baby?  I believe that has to be one of the worst kind of agonies out there.

I have had around seven surgeries, three of which I can remember.  These surgeries began at two months of age with separating my toes.  And I am very much thankful for that because I can wear flip flops nowadays.  The surgeries on my hands included further separating my fingers, removing tissue from swollen fingers, adding a bone to a finger to give it stability, etc.  This was all done before I started kindergarten.  A lot of memories in a big blur and a lot of non-understanding at the time.

I have so many stories involving my hands.  So many statements.  So many weird and original point of views thanks to my hands.  And depending on how long you've known me, you've heard some stories.  Maybe everything you're reading in this post is nothing new.  Or maybe it is all new.  All I can say is what I have mentioned is only the tip of the iceberg.  And if you include everyone who has ABS, then you're looking at an ocean-full of memories and knowledge.

How I would like to end is to mention a friend.  If it weren't for our common syndrome, we would never have met each other.  He is going on a bike ride this summer to raise hope and awareness for amniotic band syndrome.  Check out his blog.  He has a story.  I have a story.  Everyone has a story (regardless of what they were born with).

My Decision

So, I have finally come to a conclusion in my decisions...  I will not stay with Utah State to get my Master's Degree.  I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want to get my Master's Degree right now.  I don't plan on working in research either.  And the extra education I would prefer to get would be an MBA.  There is no financial aid or financial assistance from the university to get my master's.  And I refuse to take out a loan for something I only feel half-heartedly about.

Anyways, one good thing that occurred this week is I found out the results for the SWE elections.  I did get the Region Collegiate Senator position that I was hoping to get.  And I was really excited to do it, but I can't afford school.  So, I will be turning it down.  The good thing is it will be handed off to someone who I know will do an amazing job because she's all-around awesome when it comes to SWE (and anything else).

On to another note...  I've been applying for more and more jobs lately.  Last wednesday, I got a little depressed and went on a job application spree.  The good news is I got a response from one of the companies.  I have a phone interview on monday.  I hope it goes well.  I'm really hoping the company will be a good fit for me as well as me being a good fit with the company.  Either that, or I find that opportunity that's waiting for me...

We're in West Jordan tonight and tomorrow.  Enjoying the weekend.  Forgetting about school.  Forgetting about homework.  Forgetting about graduation.  Forgetting about job searches.  Forgetting about finances.  Forgetting about moving.  Releasing the stress...

Almost There

I can see that life after college.  It's just around the corner.  There's only a couple of obstacles left to overcome.  Sadly, they're the most important obstacles to overcome.  The first is to get good grades and graduate.  The second and most important is to find a career...

I'm almost there.  Almost ready to leave Logan.  Going where the job takes me.  Actually having a salary.  Nor having to live below the poverty line anymore.  I'm almost there.

But this job search is making me depressed.  I'm coming to the conclusion that I'll be getting a secondary job in retail over the summer.  I just want a good engineering job that gives me the opportunity to grow with the company and move up when I'm ready.  One day, right...