Fly

So, this week has just gone by quick.  A lot of stuff has happened.

Jared and I flew to Georgia Saturday morning to visit my family and pick up his 'new' old car.  It was Gizmo's first time in an airplane and he did fairly well.  He didn't understand why he had to stay in a small bag on the floor instead of just sitting in my lap.  He was a little scared at first.  But as long as he saw me and knew I was there, he did fine.

Georgia was hot!!  I should have brought shorts with me.  But considering a huge nasty storm had just barely left the Madison area before we went to the airport, it was only 50 degrees here.  It was nice saying hello to my family.  But the visit was too short.

And then come Sunday morning at 4 in the morning, we began our 14 hour drive home.  It was interestingly long.  At the beginning of the drive, Jared and I switched driving shifts every couple of hours, so the other person could sleep.  This left the effect of the drive feeling a little shorter than it actually was.  But we arrived in Madison at 6 pm and were glad to be home.

Then I find out that my brother was hit by a car Saturday night.  He was walking his dog when the car hit him.  He went unconscious and the next thing he remembers is being in the hospital.  You could see his skull in some places on his head and his knee took a lot of the impact.  He's lucky to be alive.  And (note this is all second-hand information and I am completely biased when it comes to the police department in the West Jordan/Murray area), it sounds like the police aren't planning on further investigation into this crime since there is little information to go off and why on Earth would good, perfect police officers want to soil their shoes over someone they consider to be a low life and not something to concern themselves over....  Mess up once, and you're a screw-up for life as far as they're concerned.  Anyways, I'm very suspicious of this incident truly being an accident.  I do think it was intentional, but I don't know the motive (but I can guess and speculate).

And then my work week came along.  Right now, we're hosting a lot of clients.  It's like a big super conference.  There's over 9000 people on the campus.  It's super-super busy.  I've been helping with some of the transportation volunteer shifts.  And let me tell you, directing traffic and telling cars to stop is scary.  Number one, they're a lot bigger and can cause a lot of damage to you.  Number two, drivers do extremely stupid things around people directing traffic that can scare the hell out of them without the driver ever realizing they did something worrisome.

Oh, and did I ever mention that I am considering getting another reconstructive surgery done on two of my fingers on my right hand?  The fingers are partially webbed, and I want to remove the webbing to give my fingers more functionality.  My doctor said she'd approve the consult to the hand surgeon when I'm ready to pursue it.

My life in a nutshell...  Hahaha.  Too much going on.

Ouch

Life has been pretty boring but good.  I've been reading way too much (still around 200-300 pages a day).  And I think I'm denying the fact that I'm moving because I really don't want to pack for it...  Ho hum...  Maybe later.

I've been watching a series that's set in the South.  And because of it, I've been talking with a Southern accent (especially when I start talking fast).  Oh joy.  I miss the South.  Guess I'll enjoy the accent while I got it (and the weird looks I get from it)...

So, we made spaghetti earlier this week.  Jared filled the pot with water, and he filled it higher than I normally fill it.  So, when I went to stir the noodles, it took me a second to realize I put my finger in boiling water.  I don't think I hurt it all that much.  It tingled, haha.  Kind of reminds me of other times.  Like when I've shut my thumb in the car door that was just barely locked.  I only noticed when I couldn't pull my hand away from the car.  And I had to unlock the door with my keys before I could set my thumb free.  Or that other time where my finger was in the way of me slamming the house door shut.  It took two attempts before I realized why I couldn't shut the door.  And by that time, my finger was broken.  Oh the joys of no feelings in most of my fingers...

Yeah, I'm bored and reminiscing.  Off to the book I go.

Sookie Stackhouse, that's right.  The books are good.  And so much better than the HBO series...

Amniotic Band Syndrome

Some days, I ask why me.  It's like I rose my hand and jumped up and down when God asked who wanted a different challenge on Earth.  A challenge we both knew I could do.  But one always finds that accepting the challenges, as rewarding as they may be in the end, are still difficult to overcome.

If you know me well enough, then you will hear me crack jokes about myself, including my hands.  And some people give me these weird looks, almost like I shouldn't be laughing about something so personal.  But how am I supposed to treat my hands?  As a disability?  They don't disable.  Sure, they slow me down sometimes, but I find my own path to doing things.  And if I can't bring laughter into this world, then what's the point?  My hands are not meant to receive guilt and empathy from anyone.  Sometimes, I just want people to see things from my view even though it may be a ridiculous view.

My mom once showed me a paper she wrote for an English class in college (the baby me came before college).  It was about her first experience with childbirth.  A type of experience that almost no other moms will experience, and I hope they never do.  The baby that I used to be (some 22-odd years ago) was taken away from my mom the minute she came into the world.  The doctors wanted to be sure that my physical disfigurement was only exterior and not interior.  Two hours and a million tests later, I was deemed healthy aside from the hands and feet.  Now two hours may seem like nothing, but for a just-barely mother who has been told nothing about her baby?  I believe that has to be one of the worst kind of agonies out there.

I have had around seven surgeries, three of which I can remember.  These surgeries began at two months of age with separating my toes.  And I am very much thankful for that because I can wear flip flops nowadays.  The surgeries on my hands included further separating my fingers, removing tissue from swollen fingers, adding a bone to a finger to give it stability, etc.  This was all done before I started kindergarten.  A lot of memories in a big blur and a lot of non-understanding at the time.

I have so many stories involving my hands.  So many statements.  So many weird and original point of views thanks to my hands.  And depending on how long you've known me, you've heard some stories.  Maybe everything you're reading in this post is nothing new.  Or maybe it is all new.  All I can say is what I have mentioned is only the tip of the iceberg.  And if you include everyone who has ABS, then you're looking at an ocean-full of memories and knowledge.

How I would like to end is to mention a friend.  If it weren't for our common syndrome, we would never have met each other.  He is going on a bike ride this summer to raise hope and awareness for amniotic band syndrome.  Check out his blog.  He has a story.  I have a story.  Everyone has a story (regardless of what they were born with).

Oh Joy

So, for whatever reason that has occurred, I have been stressing over my finances for basically no reason at all.  I received my grant money at the beginning of the month.  I had planned on putting that in savings and using a little bit to pay some of my credit card debt.  Well, since nothing really ever goes according to plan, I'm just happy everything worked out in the end.

After filing our taxes, we found out that we were going to come into a nice tax return.  I jokingly said we should look into buying a new tv.  Now, that idea really only lasted a day because the smartest thing for us would be to save our money which is exactly what I was really planning on doing.  And then Jared goes to work on marking clearance items at Kmart.  As he's marking down items in electronics, he comes across a clearanced tv.  It's a 37" Sylvania tv for $175.  Now, this is a deal we just couldn't pass up.  And $168 (after discount and addition of tax) was money I was willing to give up.  Of course it stinks (and is so American thinking) that I'm so willing to give up money I haven't even received yet.

And then we bought a new dryer the next day.  Having clean laundry has never felt so nice...  So, another chunk of money.  But this actually came from my grant money.  So, I didn't have to dip into my savings.

And then I get a check in the mail today.  It's my SWE travel reimbursement that I had completely forgotten about.  And what does the check say?  $168 and some odd cents.  That's when I realized what was paying for our new tv.

So, the good news is, I get to save my tax return like I had originally planned.  And God is taking care of us.  Whether it's a gentle nudge in the right direction or straight-out-push-you-overboard, He's watching.

So on a completely random note that has nothing to do with anything.  I decided I wanted to dust.  Our other tv is probably around 120 pounds.  It didn't phase me that I might actually hurt myself by moving the tv over a couple of inches.  So, I push the tv over and realize I can't pull my hand back towards me.

Slow motion thinking:  Oh great, I think my fingers are stuck under the tv.  Quick, what's the best way to get them out now?  How did I manage to get my fingers stuck under the tv in the first place?  I wonder if they're supposed to be in pain right now.  I wonder if I just start pulling my hand back toward me if my fingers will unwedge themselves.

I manage to pull my fingers out and continue on with my dusting like nothing had happened.  While spraying the rag, I noticed my finger was bleeding.  The other one was swelling up.  I have a nice blood blister under my skin.

Having nil feelings in my fingers can be a blessing but sometimes a curse.  Since the pain is very little to never there, I don't notice the danger I am putting my fingers in.  But on the other hand, I can pull hot food off of pans that just came out of the oven.