Christmas Happenings

So, Christmas was great.  On Cortnie's birthday (Christmas Eve), Cortnie and I decorated a ginger bread house and decided we didn't want to do that again any time soon.  We also painted some canvases that we bought  from Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Jared switched shifts with one of our friends at K-Mart, so he didn't have to close.  It was nice driving down to West Jordan early rather than at eleven at night.  And then Christmas came.

We got quite a few gift cards from my mom for Christmas.  I vaguely remember a time when I told her that Jared and I were struggling to find us time and the money to have date nights outside of the house.  I think she took that to heart and got us four gift cards to restaurants.  I also have another vague memory of telling her life sucks, she told me she'd take me to get ice cream if she were closer, and I told her Jared just didn't understand the need for ice cream when life pulls you down.  I got a Cold Stone gift card from her also.  Yeah, my mom is the best ever.  And I love her.

From my dad, I got my annual Holiday Barbie (I've been getting them for 11 years now - and I love them).  He also gave us towels.  As much as Jared and I laughed, I think we really needed them.  Because all of our towels are four to five years old.  And I've been wanting nice towels for quite a while but could never justify getting them.  So, it was an awesomely useful present.  I have to say my dad's pretty awesome too since he has been cheering me on through school.  I'd have to say I do have the best parents, and all-around best extendedly-psycho family.

And then off to Jared's mom's.  I got Twix candy bars.  One word:  NUMMY!!!!!!  One of the funnier gifts that made me laugh silently was some make-up stuff that I got.  If you ever listen to Jared's thoughts on make-up, you'll know he doesn't care for it.  And if given the choice, he'll tell me to go without make-up.  And for the last year (or two), I just haven't had time to put make-up on regularly in the morning (probably because I prefer my sleep over make-up).  So, maybe I will have to get into the groove and start putting make-up on in the morning.  And I'll just not worry about what Jared says.  Although I do have to be thankful that I didn't end up with some full-of-it guy who requires his woman to where make-up and look her beauty-best every single waking day.  I just ended up with the guy who prefers the completely natural look (that must mean my face is pretty enough without the make-up).  Anyways, I also got a purse from one of Jared's sisters.  Funny thing is I've been nagging Jared about wanting to get a new purse for about a week now.  He broke my last one and super-glued it back together, but the wear and tear was finally getting to it.  Now the purse wasn't my style, but if you know me, I go for practical over style.  So, it quickly became my style anyways.  It's sad that we're so far away from our families.  It's always noticeable in the small things, but oh well (we're where we are at because we want to be here - therefore we'll deal with it).  Yeah, Jared's family is pretty awesome too.  I'd have to say I love them as well.

So, my Christmas was full of practical surprises.  And a lot of love from my family was involved.  I believe I enjoyed the day.  It was a little saddening to see it all end and have to drive back up to Logan.  And then I was back at work going back to my regular-day life.  Well almost regular, I have a week and a half until school starts up again.

Fall Grades

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my grades...  They were all A's except for one class.  I got a 3.75 this semester.  That means I did extremely well.  That made me very happy.  I don't think I've had that high of a gpa in a year and a half.  So, yay for me!

Back from Vegas

So, we survived the bowling tournaments in Las Vegas.  Truly, we went there to bowl for fun.  And in the end, I am glad I am not on one of those extreme teams that get yelled at by their coach for not striking.  The way they acted (with the stretching and the whole game deal), you'd think they were running a marathon or something and this was a matter of life and death.  Needless to say, Utah State placed last, and I'm pretty sure I was the worst bowler there.  But hey, considering we're the underdogs that don't get tons of money and sponsorships like other schools do (did you know Weber State gets $10,000 for tournaments?), we did great!  And considering I have only truly been bowling for the last half of the year, I did fantastic.  I kept my ball out of the gutter the majority of the time and that is something for me.  I would have to say that I did bowl a little above my average at the tournaments, but it just kind of stinks knowing that my average is very low in comparison to everyone else's.  But oh well.  It was fun.

Here's a picture of a few of us from the team.  We were on Freemont street walking the Old Strip.  There was a street spray painter that made the most awesome paintings ever (with spray paint!!!!!).  He made one of planets and stars that I bought for Jared.  There was one that had a background of mountains, waterfalls, trees, and the moon; I wanted it so bad (but it was already sold).  Tons of fun.

Jared likes how I smiled in this picture.  I don't think I was see what captures his eyes in my smile/face, but hey, whatever works....

So, I've been having a rough couple of weeks.  I've just been dealing with a lot of stress.  I feel like work is treating me like crap.  I feel like someone is being biased against me because I'm white.  And not just white: a white American; of course that means I'm going to be a lazy ass like all the other lazy ass white Americans in the world, right?  Well, I'm sorry I cannot be one dimensional.  I enjoy being involved in more than just one thing, and I don't want to change that.  And when I'm being told that I have done basically nothing the whole semester, it makes me not want to go back to work.  Being called a lazy researcher who hasn't done a single thing is not the best motivation to make me do better.  One - I have done stuff, maybe not enough according to someone else's standards, but I'm doing it the best of my abilities.  Two - how dare he call me lazy, he has no idea what else I am involved in and I refuse to give up on things that bring joy to my life just because he expects me to devote every waking breath to his lab (and some days I do need a day off - I'm not a mindless robot).

I think all of it is getting to me.  And I don't know how to speak up without repercussions.  I don't know who to talk to.  But all I can say is if this continues, I believe I will be quitting my master's degree pursuit or be seeking other schools to finish my master's.  I'm not someone who has to have positive affirmation every day, but it would be nice to see it every once in a while instead of the negative comments.

School's Out!

So, the semester has ended..  ..FINALLY!  I don't know how well I did in my biochemical engineering class.  At this point, I just hope I passed.  My physical chemistry grade was a very pleasant surprise.  I was happy after seeing that grade.  Now, the other two (modeling and senior design) should be A's or else...  At least I hope so. I'm just happy to be done with school this year.

Now all I need is for work to end.  Unfortunately, research never ends.  And I think I just happened to be stuck with the professor who doesn't believe in students having a life outside of the lab.  His phd students are required to work every single day from nine in the morning to ten at night.  However, they do get half a day off on saturdays.  I can't even imagine working every single day of my life for five years straight.  Hence, I'll never be getting my phd.  But since my fellow lab mates work so much, it makes me look like a very big slacker.  Granted I still go into the lab every single day (sometimes twice a day) for two to four hours.  But I still feel like a slacker.  And I don't plan on changing my lifestyle.  I enjoy having a life.  I enjoy being able to do my homework and get good grades.  And, needless to say, my husband is a lot more important to me than my shit-for-pay job.

So, we are going to a bowling tournament this weekend.  And I am very happy to say that my bowling has very much improved over the last few weeks.  We'll be in Vegas for the tournament.  Now, I am not a big fan of Vegas.  But maybe this time will be different, one- I'm over 21 and can enjoy the gambling and drinking (and yes, I do know how to stay within a budget) and two- I have Jared with me.  So, maybe it'll be a better experience than last time.  And if I can bowl well at the tournament, then it'll definitely be a good experience.

Now that school's out, I can go back to finishing my wedding scrapbook.  I finally got all of the pictures I needed.  And I came up with an awesome Christmas present for family that is both meaningful and cheap.  So, I'll end with a few more picture of my wedding.

Negative Thoughts

Is it bad that I want to quit school?  I don't want to be an engineer anymore.  I don't want to get a master's degree.  Really, going back to campus is the last thing on earth that I'd want to do.  I hate it.  I despise it.  So, why am I doing it?

Finals!

Aah...  Run away.  Far, far away...

So, I took my physical chemistry final this morning.  I'm glad that's over with.  I believe I did well.  But we'll see. Here's hoping to an A.

I take my biochemical engineering final tomorrow.  And that may very well kill me.  I am very much afraid of it.  I must go study for it now.

On the bright side, we may have found a new place to move into...  And it is nice.

Ugh

I hate school.  It takes up all of my time.  I hate doing research.  It takes up all of my time, and I don't even get paid for all of that time.  Oh, and I might need to find a part time job on top of the school and research I'm doing.  Good bye sleep and good bye homework.  I don't have time for you...  I need money in order to live.